In a word, no. And you cannot try to squeeze in an exception with that seriously weak they’ll-barely-eat-or-do-anything excuse.

Why is it pretty much always unacceptable to bring someone who wasn’t on the invitation? Let me count the ways.

Dear Rue: Uninvited Guest

Continue reading “Can I Bring an Uninvited Guest to a Formal Event?” »

September 19, 2013

Yep, we’ve all been there. That wow-this-is-awkward financial discussion isn’t fun for anyone.

What to do? First, don’t wait for someone to say: “Just want to split the bill?” Think and plan ahead.

Dear Rue: Splitting the Bill

Continue reading “What If My Friends Want to Split the Bill and I Don’t?” »

September 5, 2013


Shaina has spent years helping friends, family, and coworkers with thorny social issues (graciously and gently, of course). Starting today, she’ll bring Rue’s manners-with-style voice to your etiquette questions.

First, take a deep breath and don’t panic. It’s of course a great honor to be selected for the wedding party. And no one would deny that you care for the bride and groom.

However, none of this means that you automatically have to do it.

Dear Rue: Wedding Party

Continue reading “Dear Rue: Can I Say No to Being in the Wedding Party?” »

August 22, 2013